Happiness has been a bit thin on the ground these days. The headlines are grim, loneliness and disconnection are rising, and work pressures seem to multiply by the day as new technologies, global unrest, and social upheaval collide.
In the midst of all that, searching for joy may feel a bit . . . selfish. Even absurd.
But none of these forces seem likely to resolve themselves anytime soon. Work will remain demanding. The news cycle will keep churning. Which raises a practical question: if the world isn’t getting lighter anytime soon, how do we find a little more lightness inside it?
That doesn’t mean ignoring the difficulties around us. But you will be better able to face hard realities if you allow yourself time to recharge.
And besides, you only get the one life.
So how do you build a happy one?
Researchers have spent decades trying to understand what makes a life feel happy. Some emphasize pleasure—the ability to savor small moments like a morning coffee, a walk outside, or a good conversation. Others argue that deeper happiness comes from meaning: a sense that our lives and work serve a purpose.
More recently, psychologists have suggested a third ingredient. In Life in Three Dimensions, Shigehiro Oishi argues that people also benefit from psychological richness—experiences that are novel, surprising, or perspective-shifting. Travel, learning something new, creative pursuits, or even small breaks from routine can make life feel more vivid and interesting.
Most of us need some combination of all three. But in demanding careers, it’s easy to lose track of them. The moments that make life feel light or energizing get squeezed out by deadlines and responsibility. The larger purpose gets swallowed by daily emergencies. Over time, even deeply committed professionals can find themselves wondering why life suddenly feels so flat.
I’ve been there myself.
Earlier in my career, with young children and a high-pressure job, the sheer volume of responsibility drowned out almost all enjoyment. Even though I loved my family and work, life became a slog.
Here’s what helped me find my way back—three small ways to bring pleasure, meaning, and a sense of richness back into everyday life.
1. Make space for the things you enjoy
If it’s been a while since you spent time doing something just for fun, you may need to remind yourself what fun feels like for you. Rollercoasters? Hiking? Videogames? Baking?
What did you enjoy doing as a kid? When did you last lose yourself in an activity?
Even if you aren’t able to recreate the epic Minecraft marathons you loved as a teen, you can probably find a way to invite a bit of what you used to enjoy back into your life. Start small.
As a kid, I loved writing. When I was at a point in my life where everything felt like work, I was able to find a little spark again by allowing myself some time every morning to write. It wasn’t much time (and I wasn’t Hemingway), but it was a great reminder of who I was and what I loved.
2. Celebrate wins
Give yourself time to acknowledge the things you’re accomplishing. Take note of the hundredth brief you file, your client getting into college, or your team hitting its numbers. Similarly, mark birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Look for excuses to celebrate.
It’s so easy just to move onto the next task, but that way lies burnout. Psychologists call this savoring—taking time to notice and appreciate good moments instead of rushing past them. It also helps remind you, as you rush through the urgencies of each day, that you are achieving something along the way. Take the credit you’re owed. Collect your flowers. Have the cupcake. You’re doing great.
This is important enough to me that it’s the last thing I do each night. Before bed, I write down what I did well that day. It’s a way of giving myself credit, a little victory lap at the end of each day.
3. Plan for joy
A third ingredient of a good life is novelty—experiences that make life feel vivid, surprising, or new. And the truth is, those experiences rarely happen by accident. They usually happen because someone planned them. So buy the concert tickets six months out. Organize the hike on the Appalachian Trail, or the silent meditation retreat, or visiting all the ballparks with your kid.
Yes, it takes effort. And yes, plans sometimes fall apart. But it definitely won’t happen if you never plan it. And these are the memories that live on forever. So dream big. What is something you’ve always wished for?
For me, it’s always been Paris. From my first trip as a wide-eyed 16-year-old sailing down the Seine to my honeymoon catching snowflakes at Notre Dame, Paris has always felt like magic to me. And so, with some trepidation, my wife and I carted our three elementary age children, along with my mother-in-law, off to the City of Lights. It was definitely a lot of work, with the flights and jet lag and finding an apartment. That was over a decade ago, but to this day, I recall the afternoon we stumbled upon a carnival in the park, and I climbed into a swing ride with my kids, the city flying by at our feet.
The world may not be getting lighter anytime soon. Work will stay demanding. The headlines will keep coming. But joy doesn’t have to wait for circumstances to improve. Often, it’s simply the result of paying attention—making space for the things we enjoy, celebrating what’s going well, and planning experiences that remind us life is bigger than our to-do lists.
You only get the one life. It’s worth making room for a little more joy along the way.
