My first Christmas in Mexico was just terrible.
Instead of staying with my host family like I should have done, I accepted an invitation to spend Christmas with my then-boyfriend and his family. He was from Coatzacoalcos, a city in Veracruz that can best be described as the opposite of a postcard. That was my first mistake.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, it didn’t occur to me that it might be too different an experience in Mexico. My first hint came with the discussion of Christmas dinner. My boyfriend’s family was not planning to cook, but rather to order food from a restaurant. I thought it was a little strange, but I wouldn’t dare begrudge someone resistance to cooking a big meal.
The worst Christmas ever
Now I know ordering Christmas dinner is pretty common. That’s fine. I was also amused that the family really wanted spaghetti at the meal. Like, it was super important to them (spaghetti and Jell-O: two foods that you eat when you need something as basic and cheap as can be in the U.S., but party food here).
The real surprise came, though, when I realized that we were not only eating very late, but that we’d be going out to a nightclub afterwards. Oh my!
Mistake No. 1 was wearing heels that were high and sexy but very uncomfortable.
Mistake No. 2 was assuming we’d dance for like an hour and go home.
As it turned out, we stayed at this club all night and went home around 7 a.m. as the sun was rising Christmas morning. I had not impressed anyone by whining and eventually sleeping on the hard bench of a table (spoiler alert — we didn’t make it), but I didn’t care. I’ve got the circadian rhythm of a hen, and being forced to stay up all night is basically torture for me.
When I talked to my mom midday on Christmas, I struggled to keep my voice cheerful so she wouldn’t worry. But really, it was the worst Christmas ever.
Why do I regale you with this story, dear readers?
Well, the holidays are upon us. And even though I’ve had no repeats of that first Christmas here — thank goodness! — it is a day that always makes me feel a little out of place, even after all these years.
There are strategies I’ve come up with over the years, though, to make it more special and less homesickness-inducing. Let’s have a look!
Tips for beating the holiday blues in Mexico
Learn all you can about how things are celebrated here! Some traditions, like la rama in Veracruz, are very localized. Others, like the traditional Posada, are more widespread. Children and adults alike enjoy participating in pastorelas, a kind of funny Christmas play that’s a little different each time. There are devils!
But there are plenty of overlaps too: Christmas trees, lights, poinsettias — did you know they’re Mexican? You might hear some familiar Christmas carols in Spanish, and find Santa at the mall if you’re lucky! The more you can find, and sometimes create, crossover, the happier time you’ll have!
Remember that the culture of gift-giving here is different. In the U.S., families go pretty overboard with presents. Here in Mexico, most people don’t. Presents are mostly for the kids, and are primarily given on Three Kings Day (January 6th). While adults do sometimes give each other presents, the expectation isn’t as ingrained here as it is up north. If you want to do a gift exchange, propose one!
Hang out with other people from your culture, if you can find them. Normally, I’d say, “No, what you need to be doing is hanging out with Mexicans!” And this is true, you should do that. But for especially familial holidays, it can be hard if you’re here without a family. Next best thing? People who are from your own culture. You don’t have to be best friends or anything, but maybe plan a nice Christmas outing or something. Next Saturday (which might be the Saturday this is published), I’m hosting a Christmas get-together with our “desayuno de extranjeros” group!
Keep some of your own traditions alive, and invite others to participate! For me, that’s cookie-making and watching the Mikhail Baryshnikov version of The Nutcracker ballet (it’s on YouTube!). This year, we invited my kid’s two besties and their moms to join us. This made it both a new and old activity, and very fun!
Do a little decorating. You don’t have to go all out. If you’re not up for a tree and all its trimmings, fine. But a poinsettia point or two can just make things look so bright and festive, and you can find them everywhere around this time.
For me personally, I like decorating for Christmas almost better than Christmas Day itself. It’s especially been nice since I hauled a lot of the Christmas ornaments on the tree when I was a kid down here. Those ornaments from the 1980s, my grandmother’s little nativity scene … it’s the little things!
More good tips
Go to Christmas events! Depending on where you live, there are probably some good Christmas spectacles to be had. In bigger cities, you might be able to go see “The Nutcracker” or go to Christmas concerts. If you look on Facebook and search for city name + cartelera (basically event announcements), you’ll likely find some fun options. Invite someone to go with you!
Give aguinaldos, the holiday bonus, to anyone who works for you. It will be much appreciated. I like to throw in some fancy chocolates, too!
This last one might seem silly, but I love it: make a playlist! Put on your favorite Christmas carols, and mix them with some Mexican holiday songs as well. It’s a good way to transform homesickness to excitement for your new home.
The holidays aren’t always easy, but especially with some community — the key to everything, really — they can be made very special.
Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.
