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Actress and activist Jameela Jamil has recently released a powerful video interview with another forceful lesson on resilience and self-acceptance, arguing that men are instructed to brush aside failures while women are conditioned to shrink away. Her raw, full-of-life monologue about learning from one’s mistakes and being free to be imperfect rise to mass public discourse and resulted in heated discussions by fans.
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Emphasis is put on fucking things up and being real in this clip from the actress’s podcast appearance on Nature Talks Wellbeing. The actress and activist describes defeat and redemption for men and women with respect to societal stigma and public speak and shame: this is not a rehearsed answer to some questions but rather a call to arms for anybody who has stood still out of fear of making a mistake.
“You know, I think men are more bred to come back from disgrace or disapproval,” Jamil mused with an air of reflective certainty. “Whereas women are taught to run away and hide and are covered.” She contrasted this with her own philosophy that she developed herself without being socialized into any such permission to actually fail. “I just think, OK, I made a mistake and now I’ve learned and I won’t do it again and I’ll just keep trying and I’ll carry on. And I don’t wait for other people’s permission to carry on. I just keep going.”
This restless vigor toward the future sets you up for a surprising reward. Jamil explains, “And what I’ve learned is that on the other side of people’s disapproval is often liberation, because now you’re free of trying to be perfect and pleasing everyone. And also, you’ve grown exponentially from it and life carries on and people forget and they move on. They’ve got bigger fish to fry.” This was certainly a wonderful elevation of pragmatism over public scrutiny—something Jamil knew a thing or two about having been under it herself for a while. She finishes with a statement that sounds almost like a personal mission: “And so if I’m a role model for anything, it is for being allowed to fuck up and carry on. And that is the one thing I’m actually proud of when it comes to myself.”
The release of the clip from the podcast account elicited an immediate, overwhelming response. A great number of social media-users expressed how timely and much-needed Jamil’s statements were for them. “I genuinely needed this 😭 thank you,” expressed one, a sentiment echoing many who felt acknowledged by these words. Another added, “I have just fell flat on my face and trying to get up. What a great timing! Thanks million❤️,” underscoring the practical solace this perspective offered to many.
However, more than a few people disagreed with Jamil’s original claim about gendered responses to failure. One user states differently: “I don’t agree that women run. I see many many women thrive and get back up. They don’t coward, and step up.” This subtle engagement in the comments between users deepens the debate on the differing dimensions of resilience–is it something nurtured or innately there? Another added contention toward generalizations about men, asking, “What are you talking about? Not this woman. It’s called being independent. Men are usually the ones that are all excited at first when things end… and they absolutely fall apart”.
A male response was perhaps one of the juiciest of all: “As a straight white man I did NOT learn that message, but taking notes now citing Jameela as the source.” It stressed how far-reaching Jamil’s prima facie argument could be—the permission to fail and carry on is one that everybody needs to learn. The discourse even took a philosophical turn when somebody asked, “Gosh. I agree. Are some fuck ups too big to come back from?”—an inquiry that remains suspended in the air, deeply felt, yet unanswered.
Jamil has long been a champion of mental health and body positivity; ‘I Weigh’ is her project for championing self-acceptance well beyond the physical. The interview piece is an organic outgrowth of that work in that it deals with the internal weight of perfection and the exhilaration of shedding. This isn’t about little stumbles here and there; she means some kind of public “disgrace” that might well end a career and is carving out an alternative definition: growth rather than shame.
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Against what feels to be an increasingly punitive and unforgiving cultural topography, Jamil’s voice stands as a distant light of hope with a very pragmatic outlook. This voice does not suggest avoiding failure but rather reinventing one’s relationship with it. She proposes, ardently, that the very foundation of our most authentic and liberated selves could possibly arise out of our lowest moments. By affording the right to fuck up and move forward, she proposes a very empowering yet very human roadmap for living. Her recent Calvin Klein look and her music producer role showcase her diverse career, while her comments on Serena Williams highlight her activism.
