John Davidson Explains BAFTA Awards Outburst

John Davidson never expected one of the biggest nights of his life to turn into a global headline. 

The Scottish Tourette’s activist and inspiration behind the film “I Swear” attended the 79th BAFTA Awards to celebrate a project rooted in his own story. 

Instead, his involuntary vocal tics, including a racial slur, were broadcast during the ceremony, sparking confusion and backlash. 

Now, Davidson is speaking out, explaining what happened and why, as he puts it, “it simply bursts out.”

John Davidson is not shying away from what happened inside the BAFTA Awards auditorium. Instead, he is explaining it as clearly as he knows how. 

During a recent chat with Variety, the activist spoke candidly about his condition and the reason he blurted out a racial slur during the BAFTAs.

 “I have absolutely no choice but to tic — it simply bursts out of me like a gunshot,” he explained.

For Davidson, there is often no warning. While some people with Tourette’s syndrome can hold back tics briefly, he said he has “almost no ability to suppress.” 

He compared suppression to shaking a bottle of soda over and over again; eventually, the pressure has to release. When it does, it can come suddenly and forcefully.

On the night of the awards, nerves only made things worse. As the room grew more tense, his tics intensified. 

What began as noises and movements escalated into coprolalia, the involuntary use of offensive words. 

Davidson admitted that when those words came out, “my stomach just dropped.” It was a moment he could not control, even as the entire room fell silent.

John Davidson has spent years trying to correct public misunderstandings about Tourette’s. 

He explained that coprolalia, the symptom involving obscene or taboo language, affects only 10% to 30% of people with the condition and is not required for diagnosis. 

Yet, it is the symptom most often highlighted in media coverage. The 54-year-old stressed that his tics are not reflections of his beliefs. 

“My tics have absolutely nothing to do with what I think, feel or believe,” he said, calling them “an involuntary neurological misfire.” 

According to him, he wants people to understand that they are “not an intention, not a choice and not a reflection of my values.”

Davidson also revealed how painful the aftermath has been. When socially unacceptable words come out, he explained that the guilt and shame could feel overwhelming. 

“I can’t begin to explain how upset and distraught I have been as the impact from Sunday sinks in,” he shared.

He also pointed out that multiple offensive words were ticced that night, not just one. Still, he understood the weight of the most widely reported slur and said he fully recognized its historical and modern significance.

The evening had started on a high note. The film, based on Davidson’s life, earned six nominations, and he attended not just as inspiration but as an executive producer. 

After nearly 40 years of living with Tourette’s and recovering from heart surgery just weeks earlier, he poured all his energy into being present.

When his name was acknowledged, the audience cheered. He stood and waved, describing it as one of the most meaningful moments of his life. For a brief time, he felt accepted.

Behind the scenes, he believed safeguards were in place. BAFTA had indicated that any swearing would be edited from the broadcast. 

Given his previous work with the BBC, he assumed producers understood what might happen. Seated around 40 rows from the stage, he did not expect his voice to carry.

Only later did he realize a nearby microphone may have amplified the situation, something he now questions in hindsight.

As his tics escalated, John Davidson felt panic rise. “You want the floor to swallow you up,” he admitted. “I wanted to disappear. I wanted to hide — just get away from all the eyes.”

In his mind, he kept thinking, “Please don’t judge me. Please understand this isn’t who I am.” 

He believed most people in the room had seen “I Swear” and would understand his condition. At first, no one reacted, which led him to assume he could not be heard on stage.

It was only when presenters appeared to look up that he realized the sound had traveled. 

Shortly after, he decided to leave the auditorium to prevent further disruption. BAFTA provided a private room where he watched the rest of the ceremony.

He later described the night as an amplified version of his daily reality,  the anxiety of not knowing what might come out or how others would respond.

Davidson has dedicated years to education and advocacy, but he admitted moments like that show how far there is still to go. 

Online comments suggesting that people only say such words if they secretly believe them have been especially painful for him.

He maintained that what people heard was a symptom, not a belief. He also emphasized that language matters. 

Within the Tourette’s community, the word “condition” is preferred over “disability.” He would rather say, “I have lived with the condition …” than use terms he feels misrepresent it.

Despite the controversy, Davidson remains committed to raising awareness. The negative reaction to the BAFTAs moment, he said, highlights why stories like his and films like “I Swear” are necessary. 

For him, the goal has always been understanding, and even after one of the most difficult nights of his life, that mission has not changed.