Why Charlie Sheen Decided To Reveal His HIV Status

Actor Charlie Sheen is opening up about why he decided to tell the world about his HIV diagnosis in 2015, admitting the emotional weight of holding onto the secret caused him more harm than good.

Earlier this year, the 60-year-old delved even deeper into his personal life in his Netflix docuseries, “aka Charlie Sheen,” where he discussed his past sexual relationships with men.

While speaking with Graham Bensinger on “In Depth,” the “Two and a Half Men” star discussed his memoir, “The Book of Sheen,” in which he details his behind-the-scenes battle with HIV.

According to Sheen, hiding his diagnosis was a much harder task than living with the illness, which is why he revealed it all during his 2015 appearance on “The Today Show.”

“That side of it, that was really difficult because there was a lot of nefarious behavior,” he said.

Sheen revealed that another challenge he faced while keeping his diagnosis under wraps was being “extorted” by people for their personal gain.

“I was just like, ‘All right, the only way to make this go away is to do what I did on the freaking ‘Today’ show. On live television, tell the world,” he explained.

Prior to revealing his diagnosis to the world, Sheen admitted he knew something was wrong with his body because of the intense headaches he was experiencing.

“I thought it was a brain tumor or spinal something or liver cancer or something terminal for sure, which is why I didn’t want to go to the hospital. And I think I avoided it for like a day and a half, you know, and finally just had to go,” he said.

Once he received the diagnosis from medical professionals, the “Anger Management” performer realized he could finally move forward.

“But when you get the results, when you get the news, you’re like, ‘Oh, OK. All right. Let’s just take it, just take this in.’ You know, it’s not the best news. But there was other news that could have been a lot worse, you know?” he said.

He continued, “I had some perspective to look at it as, OK, I thought it was going to be this, and it’s not. So that’s a pretty big win that I’m going to take in the middle of this big loss.”

Ahead of his memoir’s release, Sheen spoke with PEOPLE about some of his life experiences, including sleeping with men.

The actor explained that he no longer wanted to hide from his past or “let it own me,” later describing speaking about it as “f-cking liberating.”

“It’s like a train didn’t come through the side of the restaurant. A f-cking piano didn’t fall out of the sky. No one ran into the room and shot me,” Sheen added.

Sheen shared that his desire to have romantic relationships with men began while he was using illicit drugs, saying, “That’s what started it.”

“That’s where it was born, or sparked. And in whatever chunks of time that I was off the pipe, trying to navigate that, trying to come to terms with it — ‘Where did that come from?… Why did that happen? — and then just finally being like, ‘So what?’ So what? Some of it was weird. A lot of it was f-cking fun, and life goes on,” he said.

And while Sheen admittedly felt free after opening up about his personal life in earlier years, his ex-wife, Denise Richards, was experiencing something totally different.

On Jana Kramer’s “Whine Down” podcast, as reported by E! News, the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” alum said she typically kept her daughters sheltered from the headlines. However, Sheen’s 2015 public announcement about his HIV status changed everything for their family.

“I did have to tell them, because this is where I was kind of upset with Charlie that he didn’t warn me,” Richards said. “It was everywhere. I think I picked them up early from school that day because I didn’t want kids at school to tell them. I had to have a conversation about that.”