Frankie Grande, the older half-brother of Ariana Grande, is getting candid about the personal struggles that nearly derailed his life and career. In his upcoming memoir, “Supergay!: A Memoir,” the performer opens up about his battle with addiction, the guilt he carried in the aftermath of the Manchester Arena tragedy, and the life-changing decision that ultimately led him to sobriety.

Frankie Grande Opens Up About Addiction, Identity, And Second Chances

Frankie Grande is pulling back the curtain on some of the darkest and most transformative chapters of his life. Ahead of the release of his new memoir, the performer is opening up about his struggles with addiction, his journey toward self-acceptance, and how rebuilding his relationship with sister Ariana Grande helped save his life.

“Everyone has a version of me that they know,” Grande told PEOPLE, explaining why he felt ready to share his story. He added that he believes “it’s time” for the public to meet the real him.

Grande Says Addiction Nearly Cost Him Everything

While his career was gaining momentum through Broadway productions and his memorable appearance on “Big Brother,” Grande revealed he was privately battling substance abuse.

In “Supergay!,” he recalls turning to drugs and alcohol to cope with life’s challenges. “They took my pain away. And so I happily allowed myself to be drawn into the abyss of addiction,” he writes. After several failed attempts to get sober, Grande reached what he describes as his lowest point in 2017.

A major catalyst was the aftermath of the “One Love Manchester” benefit concert, held following the tragic bombing at Ariana Grande’s concert in England. “I still look back at the ‘One Love Manchester’ concert, and I just felt so useless and so disconnected from my family at a time where I just wished that I could be connected to them,” Grande said.

“That feeling was in the back of my mind, and I used to be able to drink and use drugs in order to escape that feeling,” Grande continued. “[But] there was no way I could run anymore. That shame and that guilt was anywhere I looked and anywhere I turned.”

Frankie Grande Previously Reflected On The Reality Of Sobriety

Years before opening up in his new memoir, Grande was already sharing honest insights into his recovery journey. In 2019, the Broadway star celebrated 20 months of sobriety with a candid Instagram post, reflecting on both the challenges and rewards of getting clean.

“Today I have 20 months sober,” he wrote. “I am extremely proud. this hasn’t been easy. when you get sober… life still happens. You have to deal with all the same highs and lows as you did when you were using, but now you don’t have the ability to numb yourself.”

Grande went on to explain that sobriety forced him to fully experience every emotion, both positive and painful. “You feel it. You feel everything. Good and bad. but there is also beauty in that,” he continued. “over the past 20 months i have felt loss but i have also felt love. I felt joy, but I also felt grief. but the bottom line is… i felt. and that is such a gift.”

Ariana Grande Helped Inspire His Sobriety Journey

According to Grande, the support of his family, especially Ariana, played a critical role in helping him seek treatment. “There were two options: it was die or get clean. And that’s it,” he recalled. “Those were the only two options because that’s the only way that I was going to escape those feelings.”

Two weeks after the “One Love Manchester” concert, Grande checked himself into rehab on June 16, 2017. Now celebrating nine years of sobriety, he says the decision remains one of the most important moments of his life. “I’m so grateful I chose life,” Grande shared.

Recovery also allowed him to repair relationships that had been damaged during his addiction struggles. “It’s just been so indescribable to say how grateful I am to have [Ariana] in my life and to have repaired that relationship to the point where we’re so happy and comfortable with each other again,” he said.

Broadway Success Feels Different This Time Around

In addition to releasing his memoir, Grande is currently starring in the hit Broadway musical “Titanique,” a role he originally played during the show’s Off-Broadway run. The production has become one of Broadway’s biggest success stories, earning four Tony Award nominations since opening earlier this year.

The Frankie Grande Says He Faced A Life-Or-Death Choice Before Getting Clean first appeared on The Blast