Apparently no one in the United Conservative Party cabinet has to buy their own groceries these days! How else do you explain the lamest stunt in Alberta political history?
Premier Danielle Smith and Finance Minister Jason Nixon got up on their hind legs yesterday at a press conference in front of a row of antique gasoline pumps at Calgary’s Heritage Park and announced that 3.4 million Albertans would qualify for a one-time $100 energy rebate!
Let me say that again: One hundred dollars!
Holy cow! That’s enough to buy … well, a carton of budget smokes or a couple of cases of watery Canadian beer if you’re a buck-a-beer kinda voter. Or, if you have no taxable vices and you want to get the kids to soccer practice this week, maybe half a tank of gas for your minivan. More like a quarter tank if you drive one of those giant pickup trucks Alberta seppies like.
At the microphone, apparently placed so reporters who showed up couldn’t see the politicians they were interrogating and vice versa, even Ms. Smith and Mr. Nixon didn’t sound as if they really believed their own schtick as they tried to put gaslighting back into the gas tank.
“The energy rebate gives Albertans real returns now on the higher oil prices we have seen in the previous months,” the premier read from her notes in her chirpy good-news voice.
“When oil prices are high, everyone feels it,” her newly appointed finance minister boomed his agreement. “Not just in the pumps, but in the price of groceries, utilities, and everyday goods!
“Albertans deserve relief and the freedom to use the relief where and when it matters most for families,” Mr. Nixon blundered on. “That’s why, starting July 1, Alberta’s government is putting direct immediate support into the hands of nearly 3.4 million eligible Albertans through the Alberta energy rebate!”
So, wait for it, folks. “Every eligible Albertan will receive a guaranteed $100 payment …”
Pfffffft. If there was any air left in the metaphorical balloon, that would’ve been the moment it made a farting sound and flopped around for a couple of seconds before going flat. If Ms. Smith and Mr. Nixon were expecting cheers and confetti, they were disappointed.
“We trust Albertans to know what their families need most, whether the pressure is on groceries, rent, bills or fuel,” Mr. Nixon soldiered on. (Affordability and Utilities Minister RJ Sigurdson was standing six in the background, his eyeballs darting back and forth. There was also some guy from a charity you probably haven’t heard of who agreed to say supportive stuff.) And, by gosh, you can spend that $100 bucks any way you want!
When a reporter asked Mr. Nixon if giving away 3.4 million rebates even when they’re this small adds up to responsible fiscal management, the minister defended it by arguing “the law is the law” – that is, the legislated fuel tax relief program that was supposed to suspend taxes at the pump when oil prices got too high.
That was also a bad policy, one could argue, but less likely to disappoint potential voters when they did the arithmetic. But to be fair, the UCP is right when they admit that if they’d just made it a tax break, oil retailers would have trousered the difference before you could say “axe the tax.”
In hindsight, though, it was a probably also a mistake for the UCP communications brain trust to tip off their favourite Postmedia columnist a day in advance without telling him how much money folks were actually going to get.
Rick Bell dubbed the plan “Dani Dollars” and compared it to the means-test-free giveaway Ralph Klein’s Government handed out in 2006 – the equivalent of just a little less than $700 nowadays. Mr. Bell wrote stuff like “if you are 18 or older and have filed a 2025 tax return, you score cash. Money. Right to you. … the money goes to you directly. No muss, no fuss. …”
This started a little buzz out there that the “rebate” might even be $1,000. No such luck, though. Too bad, so sad.
But don’t worry, you might get another chance at $100 in the next quarter – if you can be bothered to go through the process of applying again and the Strait of Hormuz doesn’t settle down.
You couldn’t make this stuff up, could you? One pities the poor PR flacks who were ordered to write up this drivel. They have to know they’re going to get blamed for the fallout.
This deficit-obsessed government, too cheap not to claw back a $200 bonus Ottawa gave disabled Albertans on income support, is now going to blow $340 million giving away sums too small to fill the tank of a normal car? And they want us to cheer.
But, hey! It’s not taxable. And everybody in the household over 18 qualifies. And, anyway, it would cost four times as much to build another hospital in Edmonton where the Conservatives just got finished building the last one in 1988.
And it won’t cost as much as Mr. Klein’s $1.4-billion blowout 20 years ago either, so there’s that.
