In the modern theatrical ecosystem, certain genres inevitably take precedence over others; those with mass appeal and blockbuster potential tend to push the rest toward streaming purgatory. The once-beloved and culturally significant rom-com was among the first casualties, now stripped of much of the prevalence and legitimacy it once possessed. Every so often, one breaks through to the big screen, but unfortunately for lovers of the form, that old-fashioned ritzy roll-out is no guarantee of quality. Case in point: Kat Coiro’s You, Me & Tuscany.
After overstepping the boundaries at her cushy housesitting gig, culinary school dropout Anna (Halle Bailey) finds herself unemployed and alone in a hotel bar, ordering a complicated cheeseburger and fries “with honey” in a heavy-handed attempt to signal her gastronomic genius. It’s here she meets Matteo (Lorenzo de Moor), a charming Italian hiding out in the States to avoid the suffocating suburban life his family has mapped out for him.
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This meet-cute inspires Anna to embark on an impromptu trip to Tuscany – something she’d planned to do with her mother before her recent passing (a plot point which the film largely glosses over through a series of tacky superimposed stills and expository voiceover). With no accommodation available in the village due to a local festival, she sneakily seeks refuge in Matteo’s unoccupied villa, only for her squatting to quickly be discovered by his painfully stereotypical Italian family. Thinking on her feet, she pretends to be their runaway son’s fiancée, not expecting to develop feelings for his self-serious cousin-brother (yes, really) Michael (Regé-Jean Page).
The film’s faults begin on the page with Ryan Engle’s script, but certainly don’t end there. Cloying sentimentality and a rigidly formulaic structure create a film that’s no more than a hollow amalgamation of far more affecting, already-told love stories. Even more glaringly obvious than the trajectory of the plot is the lack of experience of the screenwriter within this genre (Engle is best known for actioners such as Non-Stop and Rampage. While the corny dialogue does manage to give way to a few genuine laughs, a lack of momentum and emotional pull fused with contrived dialogue and shoehorned product placement for Aperol Spritz cause the narrative to wither on the vine.
Between the stunning scenery and the la dolce vita mantra, it’s easy to see why so many many romantic comedies from the genre’s golden age turned to the sun-soaked country as their smouldering backdrop. Yet here, flat cinematography drains the setting of its natural charm rather than elevating it, employing an overabundance of hulking drone shots and static framing that feels lifeless, impersonal and even outright cheap at times.
But what’s a romantic comedy without chemistry? Even lackluster material can be elevated by a smouldering couple…though You, Me & Tuscany sorely lacks this key ingredient. While Halle Bailey and Regé-Jean Page have both delivered respectable performances previously, there’s no spark between the pair and too often it feels as though lines are simply being recited rather than emotions being explored.
While contemporary cinema is in desperate need of new original rom-coms that give us a reason to believe in love again, why should we give a pass to a film that prioritises gratuitous shirtlessness, tired stereotypes and repetitive crude jokes over the genuine substance, intimacy and empathy which make love stories so special in the first place? There’s a key lesson from the classics that needs to be observed: never settle for less.
