Ping! “First we need to sprinkle some cocoa,” advises a female voice. Beside her, the unrestrained laughter of a baby rings out. A brief, deafening applause erupts, and a second later the heavily saturated beat of a techno track explodes. “This dream destination is located just five minutes from Lake Como!” exhorts a man in a tie. Tiriri-tiriri! A ball hits a roulette wheel until it stops, and the applause returns. It is soon drowned out by the angelic choirs of the song “Halo.” “Baby, I can feel your halo,” bellows none other than Beyoncé.
The preceding jumble might seem like unbearable nonsense, and yet it paints a picture we’re all too familiar with: the soundtrack of any journey on public transit. In fact, a couple of minutes on the Madrid metro were enough to record some of the hundreds of sounds emanating from passengers’ mobile phones. This same exercise could be repeated in practically any park or restaurant. Between video calls, notifications, and short TikTok videos, it’s almost impossible to escape this new urban symphony in public spaces. The tyranny of other people’s smartphones resounds all the time, everywhere, and at full volume.
Has the volume of mobile phones therefore become the great etiquette problem of the 21st century? María José Gómez y Verdú, an expert in social and business etiquette and author, has no doubt about it, and illustrates the problem with an anecdote she recently experienced in a place very different from a subway car.
“It was a restaurant where everything—the lighting, the service, the pace—was designed for enjoyment and relaxation,” she recalls. “But at the next table, several people were constantly playing audio and videos loudly. It wasn’t an excessive volume, and that’s when I realized it’s not just a matter of decibels, but of interruption. The sound of a mobile phone has a very invasive quality; it doesn’t belong in the shared environment, it intrudes upon it. However, what struck me most was how naturally it happened. No one seemed to perceive it as a nuisance.”
For Gómez and Verdú, the normalization of this digital noise can only be explained by the false sense of privacy that mobile phones generate. “Many people feel that, when they are looking at their screen, they are in a private space, even though they are surrounded by others,” she explains. But the fact that the noise is generated unconsciously, she argues, does not mean that it doesn’t cause real damage: “The sound of mobile phones has become one of the most invisible, and at the same time most invasive, forms of social pollution. We have normalized the private to intrude into the public sphere unfiltered, as if the environment were an extension of our screen.”
“Something essential is lost there: awareness of others. When someone plays audio or video loudly, they are imposing their presence on others,” she adds. From formal to informal settings, with acquaintances as well as strangers, this acoustic invasion is increasingly present in all environments. Even so, public transportation remains the most problematic place, and therefore, it is there that many countries have already begun to take measures to address the issue.
A year ago, Portugal surprised everyone by introducing fines of €50 to €250 for disturbing others with loud mobile phones on the public transit system, and the same is true in France, which addresses this issue directly in its Transport Code, with similar fines. In Spain, measures are limited to the creation of quiet carriages and signs encouraging public harmony. But relying on good behavior from citizens is rarely entirely effective.
A few days ago, Marc Masip, a psychologist specializing in addiction to new technologies, spent an entire train journey between Madrid and Barcelona listening to the family and life dramas of a couple of passengers in his carriage. “It’s a loss of privacy and a selfish act that has already taken hold across all ages, locations, and social classes,” he argues.
“Furthermore, these spaces where there should be silence, but instead you get the noise of mobile phones, are combined with others, such as playgrounds, where there should be noise but we only find silence: teenagers sitting on a bench each with their mobile phone instead of talking to each other,” he says. Two extremes that reveal the same reality: submission to the constant bombardment of digital stimuli.
Through sound, Masip explains, a device can distress and overwhelm not only its owner but also the people nearby. “Beyond the sheer annoyance of another phone’s volume, it actually leads to a hyperconnectivity that generates a lot of anxiety and discomfort. Even if the notification of a pending email or WhatsApp message isn’t mine, I feel like I have something pending. We’re getting used to a hyperconnectivity that may be mine or someone else’s, but one I can never escape.”
As a result, Masip laments the disappearance of spaces for complete digital disconnection and, above all, silence. “They are fundamental for talking to oneself, for thinking, for relaxing; believing that we can continue doing all that surrounded by so many stimuli is utopian. Since many people sleep with their phones, the only disconnected space we have left is the shower, because the phone gets wet in there, and little else.” Even so, the expert acknowledges that all is not lost and advocates for the practice of certain preventive measures.
A guide to escaping noise
Although you can’t control other people’s phones, Masip recommends minimizing notifications on your own device. He notes that he doesn’t have any alert sounds enabled, only call notifications, and the screen doesn’t even turn on unless he activates it.
For their part, Gómez y Verdú is clear on the only rule to follow to restore acoustic harmony: “The sound of your mobile phone is always personal.” Therefore, she advises against imposing our sounds on any group or space. If something is very urgent, they explain, headphones should always be used, and when you have an audio message pending, it’s preferable to postpone it or step aside to listen to it, even in a group of very close friends. “Playing it loudly, even if it only lasts a few seconds, disrupts the group dynamic and conveys a lack of consideration that’s difficult to disguise.”
“We are witnessing a redefinition of the concept of respect. Previously, it was primarily linked to physical presence; today, it includes managing our digital presence in shared spaces,” she admits. “Perhaps the next step in contemporary etiquette isn’t about what cutlery to use, but about something much more fundamental: understanding that silence is also a form of respect. True luxury today isn’t constant digital access, but the ability to refrain from intruding. Knowing when not to impose oneself. In a society saturated with stimuli, discretion has become a sophisticated form of good manners.”
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