“I am actively looking for a job. Can you let me know if you see something relevant?”
If you have recently been laid off, are worried about your current role, or are proactively looking for your next opportunity, you may have sent hundreds of similar messages across emails, LinkedIn DMs, WhatsApp messages, or text.
And then you waited.
Some people acknowledged your message. Some responded with empathy. Some promised to keep an eye out. Many did not respond at all.
That silence can hurt.
It can also feel heavier because the job market has become harder to navigate. In the U.S. in July, the average duration of unemployment was 25 weeks.
As I have coached people through career transitions and job searches, I have realized the issue is often not that people do not want to help. It is that they are not clear how to help.
The request feels too large, too vague, or too difficult to act on.
Different phases of your job search require different kinds of help. Different types of people can offer different types of help depending on their seniority, and your relationship. Here are three different types of asks to make and how to make them.
1. A specific opportunity
The first ask is help landing a specific opportunity.
This includes referrals, introductions, company suggestions, or hiring manager contacts. But it is important to remember this: You cannot outsource your job search.
You have the most context and urgency around your career move. Others can support your search, but they cannot run it for you. This request is most suitable for someone who has higher authority or is well connected and would be willing to help, e.g., your ex-boss, a headhunter, or a mentor.
To make this ask, try this:
“I saw a role at your company that seems aligned with my background. Would you be comfortable sharing any insights and if appropriate referring me?”
This makes the request easier to respond to. It is specific. It respects the other person’s time. It also shows that you have done your own thinking.
2. Help sharpening your career story
The second ask is getting advice on how you present yourself.
Sometimes the issue is that your experience is not coming through clearly enough. This is an area where people can often help more easily, and this may allow you to open a dialogue for a specific opportunity at a later time.
You can reach out to your ex-colleague, mentor, or college friend whose opinion you value to get advice.
Try asking:
“Would you be open to reviewing my résumé for 15 minutes and telling me whether my expertise comes across clearly for the roles I am targeting?”
When you are in the middle of a job search, it is easy to lose perspective. You may be too close to your own story. You may be underselling your achievements, overexplaining your transitions, or missing the language that hiring managers are looking for.
3. Guidance on the skills the market now values
The third ask is about acquiring or deepening skills.
A job search can become a moment of reflection. As you review job descriptions, speak to people, and attend interviews, you may start noticing certain patterns. Perhaps employers are asking for stronger digital skills, deeper data capability, industry knowledge, leadership experience, or technical expertise you have not yet built.
This is where your network can help you understand what to learn, where to focus, and who can guide you. Look for someone who is an expert in the field or has recently done a course you are thinking about.
Try asking:
“Do you know any good resources or learning courses that could help me strengthen my knowledge around ESG [environmental, social, and governance principles]?”
As you gain skill, you also improve how you showcase yourself. You become more confident, more current, and more ready for the opportunities you are searching for.
Make Your Ask Easier to Answer
Before you send your next job search message, pause and ask yourself: What kind of help do I actually need?
Do I need help with an opportunity, my career story, or the skill I ought to develop?
Then write your message accordingly.
Be specific about your goal. Share what steps you have already taken. Ask whether the person has the time or willingness to support you in that specific way. A lack of response does not always mean a lack of care. People are often willing to help. Sometimes they just need a clearly labeled door to walk through.
